to ashes

I can't rewind the clock
to that holding place
where lingering footsteps
echoed down stiff walls

I can't rewind the clock
to before I was pacing the halls
hushed whispers circling the air
slowly driving me mad

Who could even fake a smile
in such a place that drains you,
pulls from every fiber,
draws every last droplet
from your clenched fists

How I long every day
only to pause the clock
right where I held him,
on the thin layer of open grass
that softly cradled our love embrace
as the sun dwindled to its rest

stop the clock

           hold it

as I held him

          drifting

I am forever letting that moment
become all that I am

Every morning
awoken by the feeling of his touch
as he floated into the gleaming sun
the ends of our fingertips
slipping

The clock falls from my grasp
to ashes