complex simplicity

There are all different kinds of relief. The relief of good company after a long day, relief of getting a good grade on a painstaking project, relief of nailing a business proposition to your boss, or relief of fulfilling a promise to someone or exceeding expectations. They're all forms of the definition of relief. But what do they actually feel like? What is it that makes you feel that way? I don't think I can describe it. Yet, combine all of those together, and it doesn't even come close to the feeling of relief and comfort that you feel from someone loving you and vice versa.

Look up relief, and it probably won't note "love" as a synonym. Did that word make your stomach drop? Did someone come to mind? Did something come to mind? It's a powerful word, sometimes scary, sometimes overwhelming. It can consume you, or someone else, for better or for worse. It gets thrown around in many contexts, and takes on diverse meanings this day in age. Love can be material, but is that really love? Can you physically feel the impact of love towards an inanimate object? Think about it. It's not that you necessarily "love" this object, it's more-so the feeling that the object gives you. That's what makes you think you feel a certain way about it, all you're doing is generalizing that feeling, and putting it into a word. A word holding an array of associations and definitions.

A lot of times we, as humans, confuse emotions. I for one know that I have used the "L word" when it wasn't what I was actually feeling. At the time, sure, I believed it. Hell, I was naive and It felt right. You get a false sense of infatuation with something that seems good for you. And perfect for you. In reality, you're tricking yourself. Sometimes you knowingly ignore this and sometimes you're completely unaware. It happens. You learn from it. You move on.

If you've ever been told "you'll know when it's real" but don't exactly understand what this means, relax. It's something you have to experience to understand. When the "L word" is in your face taunting you to use it and it takes all you have to keep it in, that's when you know it's real. It's when you're with someone who makes you feel relieved as soon as you see them or hear their voice or receive a millennial-like text message from them. Or maybe it's not that cinematic, maybe it's just easier to take a breath when they're around you. Maybe a smile comes to your face just a little easier. Being with them is simply easy. Not in the sense that there is no strife, but that your mind and body are at ease in their presence. "You know it when you feel it." To imagine something so powerful and so capable of making you vulnerable, it's only natural for us to be scared of it. We fear commitment because, hell, it's scary. So hate that boy that broke your heart because he was scared to commit, but know that he, in a sense, can be understood. It's not easy, no one ever said it was. There will be lows, that's inevitable. Pick your battles, don't fight over things that aren't significant. This applies to internal battles as well. Listen to your gut, it's real... I promise. (Right, like I'm going to trust some blogger for advice) Fine, if you don't want to trust me, just trust yourself. You know what is best for yourself, so don't let the opinions of others occupy too much space in your brain and trust your instincts.

When you find that relief, that comfort, don't overlook it or put it on the back burner. Accept what you're feeling, don't let it scare you. It's a beautiful roller coaster of a word. So love, and love fully. We don't know where we're going, even though sometimes we wish we did. We don't know tomorrow, so embrace today and acknowledge the love you feel. Let it ease your nerves and worries and therefore uplift you. It's a crazy world out there, find relief in all of its magnitudes; big and small. Do what makes you happy. Before this turns into a cheesy hallmark ad, I'll leave you to think about your own security. Find what makes you feel secure. Don't depend on it, but absolutely indulge in it.