roles reversed

We've all waited for someone. You waited, when you were young, by the window for the school bus to come. Or at the end of the street, bundled in a new school outfit with your backpack secured in one hand and your mother's in the other. The simplicity that was then, becomes thrown into a whirlwind as the years progress. You wait for the boy you met at the bar to finally realize that you're the one he needs to be with. You wait for your struggling relationship to find its way out of the rough. You wait for it to finally be frigid enough to wear the new sweater you bought. You wait for your professor to post midterm grades, determining your fate in the class. You wait for your 12 man team to run into the end zone. You no longer wait for the simple things, and that is what has made the difference. (Frost, anyone?) Your mind was unexposed to the world around you, living by the script in a play.

Tangent: I should be writing an English paper, but instead I am doing what I have found a recent spark of passion for in the meantime. Writing in the cool outside air and listening to the wildlife mingle. I'm in no terms a qualified writer (unless you count killing my AP Lang exam and exempting 2 college courses -- in that case, I'm hyper qualified) I simply think that you should find things, outside of your profession or studies to find joy in and really immerse yourself into. For some people that's painting, but for the person next to them it's martial arts.  If anyone tries to tell you that there is a confined area to exert your passion, nod and smile.

Among all of this change, and all the waiting, you find yourself in a realization. Maybe you haven't realized it yet, or maybe you choose to ignore it. There is this tricky algorithm, a recurring method of life, that shows us the circle of occurrence. The well known "what goes around comes around" idea, shown in countless ways. The good and the bad, coming full circle. If you waited on someone, now that someone waits on you, whether it be to your knowledge or not. With this piece of writing, look deeper than just the people described. Mold it to your life, what you have experienced and will experience. And for all things sacred, find your passion and exert it. Don't live by a script; just live.

 

Standing there
lingering by the window
as he does
every day at this time

For once
she walked down
that dusty drive
she would jump
into his crouched arms
like jumping a pier
barely catching the boat
that you mustn’t miss

This time he stood
and stood,
for this time
the one drifting away
was no longer him

He was always leaving
but he had no choice
and it wasn’t up to him.

Now tables turned
and he stands at the window
assuming it was the window
the one she peered out
anticipating his arrival
for years and years and years

She consumed his life
in a good way, that is
He did it all for her,
for what?
For him to sit
right where the waiting
consumed her

It was his duty
to leave no one behind,
to fight until the end
but now he is left

The ground is still settled
and the wind waits with him
as he closes the curtain

 

Lauren Wilhelm